Living in the in between

I have just returned from the land of Oz. This land paved with yellow bricks is filled with many lovely things, one being the good Doctor, affectionately known (to me) as Hawkeye.
No, he did not go to Iowa and is not a Hawkeye fan, though he does respect their wrestling teams and all things Hawkeye.

He is Hawkeye for two reasons... silly ones, but isn't that how we arrive at special names for those we love?
Hawkeye is the cynical surgeon from Mash. This may be lost on the younger generation. Ah, another wonderful thing that these youngsters will miss, along with Mary Tyler Moore, I love Lucy and The Golden girls. Such a shame.. and they have replaced it with Snookie, The situation and more reality housewives with fake boobs than I can shake a flabby upper arm at.
Hawkeye is also an avid lover of Hawks..hence the name. Hmm, perhaps he should have considered Iowa as opposed to Rutgers. How many Hawks can there be in N.J. ? 


On our drive to the Emerald City last week he counted over 30 Hawks. I drove home Sunday, leaving Hawkeye where else, but the operating room and I didn't spot a single Hawk. Really, I looked. 
How can that be? Maybe they were at the Holiday Inn for Sunday Brunch or perhaps the company I had kept had given me keener eyes to see. Yes, he usually helps me see the big picture when I am stumbling over minor details.


The week In Oz... aka Wichita was spent moving into our new home.  I left it with new paint, clean carpets, full cupboards, tidy bathrooms, and plans for the future.
I also left it exhausted and feeling unsure of where I fit in . 
It seems once you buy a house it quickly becomes a home. A place to plan your future, embrace your family, shield yourself from the unknowns of the world. A place to be secure.
But also a place to be used, worked, challenged and needed. 
I have that here and I will need that again. I can already feel it, tugging at me, reminding me what makes me tick. Knowing my purpose and passion. 
God, don't make me wait. Give me something and quick. You know I hate daytime TV!


I left my one boy for my other boy. The nino was home from a mission trip to Cincinnati and he was missing me, just a little. He is a sweet boy and kind of sentimental, though he tries to hide it. 
So, the man/boy known as Hawkeye was telling me he was going to miss me and the week together was so much fun( fun.. really? He went to work each day... I talked to the painter for 4 days).
 The boy/man was telling me he thought he might have gotten bed bugs or poison ivy on his trip. Hmm, lets see, Poison Ivy in March in Ohio or bed bugs in a nasty apartment sleeping on old mattresses. Maybe they were fresh off the 1-800 mattress truck along with 500 count sheets. Nah...


Instructions were given to remove all items belonging to him ...out of my house... at once and start washing everything in HOT water. He complied but the itching and bites continued to irritate. Medication was given upon my arrival and it is believed he will survive. 
Thank goodness for moms.... and hot water.


Roles change but we are always parents to our children. Ask mine... parents that is.They will tell you..sometimes I still ask for money:)
The needs may change but then they throw us a curve and remind us of how much we are needed. Even when most questions could be answered on Google......" How to get my parents to give me a bigger allowance.... not happening, get a job!


Its funny how a kid of mine can travel to far away lands, sometimes thousands of miles and not need me and yet not know how to address an envelope or write a check. Oh yeah, then they are calling for mom.
Now where does that return address go he asks? On the back, upside down, in pig latin I tell him. 
The daughter told me once that checks were silly and outdated. I asked her if is she was planning on using a debit card someday to buy a house. She looked at me and said, "probably". Darn, I think she may be right!
Same child who told me she was plum out of contacts the day before(A sunday)she was returning to school, 5 hours away. " Really? thats wonderful. Lets look for those old glasses you wore in eight grade. Yeah, the plastic octagon shaped ones. No, I didn't say that but my mom would have and the shape would have been correct!


The land of in between continues for me, for longer and shorter than I desire.  A pull here, a pull there, and hopefully a landing place that is soft and yet full of opportunities and challenges. 
A place that God will fill me up, with Him.
A place that my kids will want to come and be loved, secure and know they can ask the tough questions in life. "mom, do you think I should get dreads?" 


The land in between is not so bad. It can be a grounding place. A place to redefine your purpose. To be sure of who and what you are. To recognize who and what you are not. To look honestly in the mirror and give it all up to Him. He's got my back and he knows my future and it is all good.


Jeremiah 29:11   "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

Heaven applauds us

A pastor once said, "The curtain is going up on the next act of your life. You have everything you need to dazzle the earthly audience surrounding you and to garner the heavenly applause of Him who loves you most."

Our goal should never be about dazzling men but pleasing our God.  And yet, I understand what this pastor meant( I think).

We were created by the God of the heavens and the earth. Surely he has given us gifts to dazzle. He created us in His image and look how He dazzles. He is more brilliant than the sun. Moses glowed when he came down from the mountain after being with the Lord. 

Have we searched God and asked Him to show us these gifts. If we know what they are, do we use them to dazzle His people? Not for our glory, but for His... always to bring others closer to Him.

Heaven applauds when we say yes to the Father. 

Whatever scene the Lord has placed you in today, know that He is already there... applauding.

Today may be difficult but He is still there, tenderly whispering"I love you".

Say yes to what He is asking you today.

 He will provide all that is needed. 

When we share the love of the Most Gracious One and use this day, just this moment... to touch a life that He loves. That He created. That He sees as a valuable, precious jewel of His creation. 

He applauds us. He loves us most. 

Do you find it hard to breathe after reading that? I do. Say it...... He applauds you. He loves you most.

Give thanks to the God of gods. His love endures forever.

Psalm 136:2

What's your written down reason for being?

Mug by Dawn Camp 

Sharing with my small group last night I asked if they had ever written out a 

purpose statement for their life. 

II have heard it described as "your written down reason for being."I

By Dawn Camp☆Sharing with my high school ladies last night I challenged them to create a purpose statement for life. I have heard it described as "a written down reason for being."

I am not talking Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief. I am talking why did God, the creator of the heavens and earth place you here, calling you His own.

How do you know which road to take, when to say yes and more importantly when to say no?

I read a post this morning about a wife,mom,lover of Christ who travels the world with her husband and little ones. She has moved too many times to count( over 30) to locations, some I can't find on a map or pronounce. She understands her call and knows her purpose. If she didn't understand her calling how would she have moved her feet of clay into the land of giants? If you do not have a vision of what God has called you too how do you find your way in this world of a thousand choices and desires that leave us breathless in our pursuit of them? Many times we don't know what we are running after. We just know everyone else is running so.....

You might live a nice life but it may not be Gods life for you? 

Do we believe that? Do we think He has a best for us? A life where we "get to" serve him and minister to his people? Love God, Love people.

Is our calling about collecting as much stuff as we can or giving away as much as we can? What do we persue? What is our purpose?

And how does one live their life without ever asking that question?

What are you passionate about?

What Bible passages has God brought to life for you?

How has God used you in the past?

What are your gifts and strengths?

The life of a follower of Christ is the most exciting life there is. Everyday is a day to say, 

" Bless me indeed today Lord! Increase my territories and may your hand be upon me. Keep me from evil that I may not cause pain."

The prayer of Jabez 1 Chronicles 4:10

One of my sweet girls gave me the name shepherd last night. How beautiful to think that God has prepared me in all my flawed ways to be a shepherd to these young women that I love. These women who are on their way and already leaders. They will be shaken up at times. If they know their purpose, their roots will be strong and they will stand firm, strengthened by the one whom they have built their foundation on.

God, in your grace and love you chose us to glorify you through our lives. You give us all that we need to have joy, new each morning. You heal our wounds, you forgive us our shallow, selfish ways. You wait with open arms, calling us your children. You love us without end and without ceasing. May we see you today in your people and meet them where they are. Amen

Time Flies

Time Flies

Time flies when you are having fun.  I have heard that for years but I now know its true.  Our family left the East Coast for unknown territories 16 yrs ago. In tow, a 6yr old in braids, dancing in circles, wishing for her first day of kindergarten and a two year old blond terror complete with cowboy hat, boots, holster and two six shooters.

Before the move, I called the Montessori school in Champaign every day, begging and coaxing for a spot.

We were leaving a hundred acre Montessori school in the pines of Sullivan County, New York where the people were our friends and shared their home and life with students and families.

The children would run through the gardens, dance in a cold brook and play with the cats and goats in this magical surrounding. It was fantasyland for a child as well as parents.  I can still see the smoke curling from the chimney of the stone farmhouse and the towering, gabled barn where children would gather to sing and dance. It was a fairytale place, right out of a children’s book.  Then the day the black bear and her cub showed up in the far meadow, enjoying the sunshine of the spring day. Breathtaking.

We arrived in Champaign in August, breathing in a heat I didn’t know existed. A spot opened in school for our daughter. Two days later she was in her new classroom. She loved it. It was different and yet familiar.

Time flew and my did we have fun. New friends, neighbors, church folk who became family, dinner parties, cul de sac baseball games, dance recitals, vacations, 4^th of July fireworks at the stadium, all with people we never would have met had we not listened to the call of the prairie. Soon it was proms and graduations.

Champaign, you are a good town. A place our children made joyful memories and a place they call home. This town is our family. We may not be townies, but we have been loved by many of them.

This fall we will pick up our toys and move on, but not in our hearts.

Our children will be in colleges in a new town. We will be the new kids on the block too, in another town. Go West young man. I guess my husband took it literally. This new town will be nice, but will never hold the memories of Champaign. Can the memories be as sweet or stories as rich.  No, that happens only where your babies grow up. It’s a one time deal, no do over’s.

Time does fly when you are having fun.  Savor each moment and recognize the gift that each day is.  I will look back at the pictures of that blonde cowboy and dark haired kindergarten girl and remember fondly the home that is ours here, in the prairie.

I want to do a beautiful work

Listen for God...
from Michael 1952

I want to do a beautiful work, for Him.

 Not for me. Not for accolades.  I want to be a pleasing aroma to the One who made me. Who knit me together. Who knows my days and has planned them before I had eyes to see. Even now when my vision is foggy and blurred by all that runs in front of me, begging me to follow. 

I want to choose the best. 

I want more of Him.

Maybe there is still too much I and me in here. I choose, I see, I want, I do......where is that from? Not Him. Me. 

"You are not unworthy; you are not unprepared. You have no reason to hold back unless your love for Me is too small. If this is the only hindrance, draw closer to Me, and I will pour my love out upon you so that your affection for me may be deepened and perfected. Lo, I wait for you. Come to me."

Come Away My Beloved 

Lord God, my deliverer, my rock and my redeemer, choose me today. You know my heart and my desires. Use them to glorify You and only You.

Make me a sweet aroma to You.

Let these eyes that are blind see with Your spirit and wisdom. Give this soul discernment for new things and new ways. Ways that are true and pure and right. 

Provide the path to one who has lost her way, who takes the easy road, free from rocks and pot holes that slow her down. Where is she going in such a hurry, if not following You?

Show her the narrow road that will provide opportunities that only come from above. The path that is full of light and whose tree roots will be strong and its branches protect her in the storms that try to call her away from You.

He calls to me in the silence and says, "Listen my daughter, listen and I will tell you. I will show you the way."

"He is a chosen vessel of Mine to bear My name."
Acts 9:15