I'm A Fake...

F A K E

I had an out to writing this post.

I hit the delete key accidently and my words disappeared.... then I looked up and saw the back-arrow key and darn it, I hit that key, bringing them back.

I needed to write this.

 Otherwise I would really, really be a Fake.

At the moment I am trying to convince myself I am not one of those... fakes.

 We will see how this goes.

How the trouble started....

Sometimes when I write my name on my computer, it spell checks to Fake..... really. 

Dale = Fake.

 Four letters. 

Okay, maybe this has a little to do with the fact that f is next to d and k is next to l on the keyboard.. and that my fingers never quite agreed with the normal way of typing, not sure though.

This happened 6 times in the last two weeks and while I really, really need spell check, I didn't think I needed a character check. 

It got me thinking though.  

At one point I said, "Hey God, is this from you?"

He didn't answer, but if He wanted to get my attention, He had.

I have been thinking about it ever since and I am wondering.... am I, you know.... a Fake, with a capitol F?

I think the answer is yes, probably with a capital Y, but I didn't bother.

Why I may be a fake...

I make big to do list and then, instead of starting my list I sit around, eating chocolate chips.

I decide to join a gym and start running again,(what?) but I grab a handful of chocolate chips..... instead.

I promise myself I am going to finish those 5 books. The ones I have read half way through, given to me by spiritually deep people, but instead I watch Modern Family ... while eating chocolate chips.

I say today is the day I will start writing that book, the one that terrifies me, but first I have to go to Target and get more chocolate chips.

It's a good thing Target is less than a mile from my house (maybe I should run there) and sells Ghiradelli dark chocolate chips. They are very healthy for you, especially by the handfuls.

Okay, maybe the real reason I may be a fake is because I sometimes get confused as to what I am supposed to be doing out here, in my new community.

I don't admit that, usually. 

Just here.

I stop seeking Him in the plan. I become impatient and go ahead, alone. 

Maybe I am fake because I want to be like other people, more accomplished people, funnier people, (I love funny people), clever people, (I really, really like clever in a person)

People who write better than me. Yeah, this is a long, ridiculous road to go down....

Pride.

Then

I feel like Sally Fields, "You like me, you really like me" Ugh. 

Have I become that person?

Do I care if you like me? Evidently.

Sometimes I miss being involved in work that I can see to fruition and feel good about. 

Accomplishment. Change happening.

Pregnancy Resource Center.. .I miss those ladies. So. Much.

 I miss making a difference.

 A couple other groups come to mind....that I miss terribly. They were part of my identity.

Pride.

Guess that makes me a fake.

It's all about me.... mostly.

Pride. God never used that word as a positive in His word.

It comes before the fall, we deceive, delude and cheat ourselves, and become boastful.

Guilty on all accounts.

"Being Fake Is Not Being True"

I just read that today. Wow.

Be who you are, every day, all day and you will be True.... and then you will not be a fake. A little fourth grade terminology for you.

 God reminded me. He sent me a character check.
Be true, real and grateful.

And remember the benefits of dark chocolate. 

I hear it cures everything from the common cold to spelling errors.

Sittin and Singin on a Sunday morn...

Went to church Sunday.  

Still trying to figure this all out. Sometimes you just want what you know. What you are familiar with, like the Sunday crumb buns of my childhood.

Doesn't work that way and every seven days, there you are... Sunday. 

Yup, Sundays coming and ya better be ready. 

But even when you are ready, it doesn't always turn out as you hoped. 

I found myself sittin an singin. Sittin an singin?

 That's not worship is it?

How can I not raise my hands, and stand in awe of Him? 

I was struggling to stay in my seat.

I told my husband we should sit in the back. Hey, if the spirit moved me, I was gonna answer.

The week before we had been in the company of a baritone, soulful man who sang for us. 

He told us to worship as we felt led. 

I did. So did the hubby. 

We were alone in the standing.. that's okay. 

My hands were raised.... in adoration and praise.

He said when you worship, it's between you and God, no one else. 

So, worship as the spirit leads.. but still, I dont want to be the story. 

Know what I mean? 

I am not trying to draw attention to me....

but I want to praise God in my worship and that's how it feels right.

There are lots of ways to worship and I appreciate many of them. I find a liturgical service very peaceful, calming and sometimes just what I need.

Contemporary worship songs are some of my favorites.

 There are no right or wrong styles as long as the desire is to glorify God. 

So why do we get hung up on what "we" like? 

I have to remind myself that Christ is at the heart of all true worship, whatever the style.

Until then I will raise my hands, to Him and recognize my role is to honor and glorify Him. He will provide the home for me to do it. 

What's your style of worship and how is it working for you?

Sweet Sunday Mornings....

Sunday Mornings should be sweet. 

That is what

 I said to the hubster yesterday morning. 

He looked at me, head cocked like the dog... I explained. 

When I was a young one, my dad would get up early and head the mile into town and buy crumb buns and sweet rolls at the local bakery. Do not confuse these items with anything that comes in a box and says Entemanns.... 

He would also pick up hard rolls. 

My husband, also being an East Coaster understands what these are. 

A roll the size of a grapefruit, slightly hard and crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. 

We would slather butter on them or make the most amazing sandwiches for lunch.

 Perfection is the only word that describes them. I didn't realize these treats were considered regional foods, i.e. metropolitan N.Y. delicacies until moving to the midwest.

Heck, crumb buns are German...... the midwest is full of Germans.

Look at all the Lutheran churches, German shepherds and Bratwurst.. okay, okay.

Can ya make me a crumb bun for Pete's sake? (Who is Pete?)

And please, for the love of Pete (?) stop putting your warm bread in plastic bags and tying it up. Your suffocating it.

Add... the lack of Italians... 

so the pizza is strange too. 

No Italian bakeries equal no Italian cookies.

Do you feel me? 

It has reached a point where I now look at Panera and think it must really be a bakery. 

No!

I need an intervention. Someone put a box of powdered sugar under my nose. Bring me back to my N.Y. senses... feed me a cannoli!

I remember going to weddings when I was a kid. The best part were the trays of cookies that would be placed on each table. Oh my....

black and whites, pignoli, anise, butter, almond, biscotti... and more.

Yet, 

when we visited the bakery yesterday and the sweet girl at the counter told me she had never heard of crumb buns and that if I wanted Rye bread I would have to place an order for it. Serious?

Yet, I could not help but like her and my new community. 

She couldn't have been nicer.

This bakery was French... what? 

How does that happen here? 

They did have rolls they called French rolls that looked like they might be mini hard rolls. I bought two. They were small, expensive, and overrated. 

They seemed a little smug too.

Hmm....

She came back with a loaf of bread and said it was on the house. 

She said it was a loaf of rye she had found in the freezer. Where do I even start with that... and yet, I should be grateful. I am. 

I looked at the loaf and I realized it was pumpernickel. I smiled (giggled a little) and kept my mouth shut. Really. I didn't see the point.

Look, she was either trying to be Wichitawesome or she was trying to get me out of there. 

Either way, smile and say thank you.

The bread was delicious, if not rye.

Probably the best pumpernickel I have ever had.... really.

The day before we had found a shop that sold dog food and supplies. We met the owner and and she proceeded to give us multiple bags of free dog food samples. She was so helpful I thought there must be a camera somewhere and a commercial in the making.

She couldn't have been nicer.

I told my husband that I wish people would stop being so nice here. Again, he cocked his head at me. He wonders about me, I know.
I explained that I didn't want to like it... that much. 

I just want to like it a little bit, just enough, but not enough to steal my heart.

Been there, done that.

Isn't that how we are though? We want what we want.... We think we can control and plan and ultimately decide how things will go?  

We revert to what we are comfortable with, how we grew up, the familiar.

The truth is the sweetness in life comes from the Giver of all that is sweet, good, pure, lovely and true. He will offer me sweets along this journey but I can't get stuck in the past. He teaches me from my past but points me to the path in front of me. 

These people who cross my path...... He has provided for me, and if the bread or bun doesn't taste the same, then find the new pleasures it possesses.

Anything less, is to throw the blessings in His face and tell Him I want to choose. His choice for me isn't good enough. 

Wow.. when I think of it that way, I am ashamed.

This life is a sweet, sometimes painful journey. The journey does not have an address here and the destination will only be reached when this life is over.

Until then,

He has planned my days and I will rejoice in them and the plans that He has for me..

Plus, I have a whole loaf of pumpernickel waiting for me.

Yumm.....

Wishing you Sweet Sundays.

Happy Tax Day... Help If You Need An Extension

Happy Tax Day...

Two of my favorite ladies share some pointers for those of us in need of a tax extension.

Hope you laughed and did not take offense.

Some days we need a good laugh and I believe Tax Day is one of those days.

Let's remember God's standards for us in Luke 20:25

So he said to them, "Then give back to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and to God the things that are God's."

Happy Sunday Morning...

Happy Sunday Morning.

Welcome to my Sunday morning...... sort of. Not sure who the little girl is.

I love that many churches in my town have Sunday services on Saturday night.... Does that make them Saturday Night services?

However, this Sunday we are headed to church since it was cancelled last night.... seems tornados came to visit.  

Enjoy your Sunday peeps.

The Winds of Change and Finding Home.....

We survived our first Friday the 13th in the land of Oz, also known as Wichita. Where the spring winds blow, the rains promise to soak and Dorothy can be seen flying through the air. Well, not really, but the skies can be breathtakingly ominous, sirens screaming their concerns, hail falling at amazing speed, strength and size. It's raining cats and dogs, wait, no it's not. It's more like blueberries and cherries.

Truth... it never rained last night. It is being saved for today, when we want to plant our lovely shrubbery in the back yard. Today, the 14th promises to be a day of huge proportion, with endless possibilities for excitement. Oh My......

We however, need to plant, buy new tires, get the oil changed. Then when things promise to get really dark and creepy outside we will meet new friends and their children and share some fellowship over bread, wine and good food.
Sunday is a day we will visit a church we think we may call our own. The River.... I am looking forward to this.
Corporate fellowship, when authentic makes me giggle inside. It soothes my soul, tells me I am home. It reminds me what I am about and who's I am. God gave us church for a reason. He told us we are the church when we come together. We are to build one another up, share our lives, our gifts, our talents.
I look forward to finding this home again.

Do you have a church home? A place you find comfort and safety? It's out there, waiting for you.

Colossians 3:14-16
14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. 15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

Young Woman..... Where Do You Find Your Identity?

Talking with a friend yesterday about her sweet girl, who in a wisp of time will be a teen. Mama wants her girl to see her value... in God. She knows the path ahead can be hard, filled with moments of fear and doubt. 

Who is this young girl, in Him? How does He see her? Where is her value? 

The world is throwing things at this young one.. her value in what she accomplishes, the trophies she and others can see, how she walks the balance beam, the clothes she wears, the friends she chooses... or choose her.

 Nothing new, same lies.... but still dangerous waters to wade... and inescapable.

Each young girl will walk this path, hopefully with a mama who cares to clothe her daughter in Truth and Light.

Still......

No one escapes. Not the brightest, talented, rich in the world or in faith. It is a time where all are tested. Some come out whole and solid, others are battered with hearts that never heal.

Oh, the deceiver is clever.. be sure of that.

Still......

We can share Truth. 

We own it and it is freedom.

Truth is..

I am accepted...

John 1:12 - I am God's child.

John 15:15 - I am Christ's friend.

Col. 2:10 - I am complete in Christ.

I am secure....

Romans 8:28 - I am assured that all things work together for good.

Rom. 8 35-39 - I cannot be separated from the love of God.

Phil. 1:6 - I am confident that the good work God has begun in me will be perfected.

2 Tim. 1:7 - I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love and sound mind. (favorite)

Hebrews 4:16 - I can find grace and mercy in time of need.

I am significant....

John 15:16 - I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.

1 Cor. 3:16 - I am God's temple.

Eph. 2:10 - I am God's workmanship ( masterpiece!)

Eph. 3:12 - I may approach God with freedom and confidence.

Phil. 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!

 And then there is The Proverbs 31 woman, so beautifully and respectfully appreciated. 

She is wise, talented, hard working and devoted to her Lord and family. 

God has given us that picture of how He sees us worthy, and to be loved and respected.

Young women, you are lovely and of great value ~ God created you for His purpose. Seek Him, not this world if you desire to find the best HE has for you.

Do You Follow The Good Enough Plan?

The hubby and I were in Nashville Easter weekend. A high point to these weekends is doing church at Crosspoint where our daughter attends. 

It is a huge church, with great music, yet without all the bells and whistles (yeah) and lots of warmth. 

There is a feeling in this place that gives me peace. 

It's a church I could sink my heart deep into if I lived here. 

A place where Jesus is shared in a way that I think is pleasing to Him. 

They say they want to be a place that you can belong to, even before you might believe in. 

It's a safe place.

Church can be scary. 

Let's face it, if you have not been brought up in the church, or if you have..... church can be intimidating and just kind of weird. 

No one wants to be judged and that is what we "Christians" seem to be known for. 

That's not our job. 

Our job is to LOVE... as Christ loved and to share all truth in LOVE. 

This place understands that.... ah, perhaps why there are so many people here.

One of the pastors, Pete.... think Dana Carvey 

(some of you have no idea who he is.. tsk tsk, sad for you)

 speaks truth. 

He is solid in his teaching, always intermixed with humor, directed at himself, his family and also others. 

Humor has become important in modern day church. 

I get this.

 I love to laugh at others.... and also myself. 

There's a lot to laugh about.

However..... his message was clear and serious.

He spoke about contentment in our lives.. which we find through the salvation we receive in Christ, because of His death and resurrection. 

But, we must accept this... or try other ways.

I can try the good enough plan, the comparison plan, or rely on the grace plan. 

Good enough might work, because when I compare myself to you, or someone else, I seem better, my sins less. Some believe this their whole life, while others quickly see through the lie that it is.

I can try the comparison plan...  this gets tricky because I will always find someone who really has it all together, when I am just faking it while trying to keep my head above water. They might be faking it too.... so we are all in the same boat, and it's quickly sinking.

Then there is grace....

Grace, Grace .... all is Grace.

He hit home with me when he said, "Sometimes we believe that more of what isn't working, will work."

Crazy, but I know I fall into this.

When you say it, write it, shout it.... it is ridiculous.

More of what you know doesn't work, will not magically start working.

Good enough and comparison will not work

Those plans are me working.. at a work I cannot accomplish.

I need Christ and the work He already did on the cross, the shedding of His blood for me....

that is grace.... all is grace.

Grace - Gods unmerited favor.

There is nothing and will never be anything I can do to earn Gods grace. He gives it freely, when we come to Him and accept His gift, and a gift is always free.

That is true contentment.

I hope you have contentment in your life today.